I know, and you know, that it has been too long since I last posted here. And for that reason, I am very sorry!
The first semester of university has finally finished and I can say I have successfully ‘survived’ the trials and tribulations of familiarising myself with the quickest route to get from the station to my lecture, where the ‘cool’ places are to hang out and grab food during the breaks between classes, how to make friends again and keeping up with homework and assignments without the constant reminders that I was given back in high school.
Some say making the transition from high school to uni is not only hard but a major change. You’re no longer pampered with the luxury of having teachers who care about your personal development or have the time to personally review any work you want feedback on. It’s not hard to imagine why this would be the case though, what with a cohort (especially in my business cohort) that is more than 10 times the size of my year 12 grade, I would be lucky if my tutor remembered I was actually enrolled in their class! Along with the different teaching styles, I think it’s worth mentioning the work load here at uni compared to the final year of high school. I wouldn’t say that it’s all that different (in my perspective). You have your weekly classes, you have your homework that you’re expected to do for the tutorials and you have lectures that you can choose to attend or view online (if you’re lucky). The effort to stay on top of everything has stayed the same, but the level of enthusiasm and motivation to do the work has certainly changed if you’re doing a degree that you specifically chose and are actually excited about doing.
I loved learning about business processes and the business environment during my HSC (final year of high school), so naturally I have been loving the business half of my degree. The law part of my degree is another story. Maybe the reason is because I started my Foundations of Law subject without knowing anyone in my class and having a tutor that didn’t really captivate me. It’s also not set out as your typical lecture and tutorial session for a subject, rather it was a twice-a-week discussion class that required active participation. I was very out of my depth entering into the subject, having no prior knowledge about the legal system (except where it applied to businesses) and little to no interest in the law in general. As the semester progressed, I realised that I was prioritising my business subjects over my one law subject and that I was only looking for a credit whereas my business subjects I was certainly aiming for a distinction or higher. That’s another thing I want to point out. Coming from a high school that emphasised the importance of striving to do your best both academically and character wise, entering into an environment where most of the students were only aiming for passes definitely threw me off. I personally set myself high goals and learning how to improve to get those high marks is what drives me. But of course there are times when all you can do is hope you’ve done the best you can. Even if that best is just a pass. That is how I felt with Foundations. I wasn’t interested in what I was learning. And I could tell there was a very obvious difference between my friends who were passionate about the law and pursuing a career down that path, and me who was more passionate about entering into a corporate job, with my blazer and pencil skirt, financial reports at the ready. But hopefully my interest can be piqued in someway as I continue on with my subjects.
Aside from the academic point of view, university has been a lot about opening myself to new experiences such as getting involved with orientation camps, drinking for the first time, partying, making new friends and learning to be somewhat independent. I realise now that I’m more inclined to stay out, get my work done at uni, catch up with friends over lunch and eat dinner rather than come back home straight away like I did during high school. While this is all fun, it is also a bit draining, what with living close to an hour away from the city. However, it does have its positives, I think an hour’s train trip isn’t too bad (on one straight train, gives me time to catch up on readings I should have done the night before).
But in saying the above activities, I’m not as social as I make myself seem to be. It takes time to develop a close bond with any one person, especially with people you’ve only known for a few months. Heck I can confidently say it took me a few solid years, random shenanigans in class and fun teasing to be as comfortable with my high school biffles as I am now *SHOUT OUT TO THE ALMIGHTY HIERARCHY* and I am eternally grateful for them because I know we’ll always have each other’s backs. But at uni, how does one even begin to form bonds as strong as that? Sure you make friends that you sit with in tutorials and lectures, but you only see them once a week. It seems like a strictly in-class friendship with nothing extending past the classroom. There is a need to put in extra effort to maintain any connection until you get to the point where you’re arranging classes together for the next semester, texting each other to go out on coffee runs. And I feel as if that is still a while away for me. In this situation, anyone would say to join a society you’re passionate about, you’ll be able to make a lot of new friends with similar interests as you in that way. And to that extent I can agree. But yet I feel as if the way I’m trying to make friends is forced. I’m not fully myself, I don’t really fit in. Not yet anyway. I’m finding it much harder to get involved here at uni than it was for me to get involved back in high school. Probably for the same reason that there’s less structure at uni, you go and find opportunities by yourself and you don’t have the constant support of teachers or friends helping you along the way.
Uni is what you make it. So this is a message to me, that by the end of next semester, I’ll be able to look back on this post and say hey, yes I had my doubts and my fears about getting involved and not yet finding the right group of people that I click with, but at least I tried my best. I will have joined and actively participated in a society I am passionate about and made new friends and a more positive, confident outlook on my university life. That is my plan, my goal, my vision. And I’m going to make it happen.
Ciao for now, new outfit posts coming real soon xx
Simply Stylistic 